Nowadays, open relationships between a man and a woman are becoming a common sight. Being together, but not being addicted to each other – that’s about what open relationships mean. Many people doubt whether to start such a relationship because they do not have a complete idea of what it is. Therefore, we are going to tell you what an open relationship is, why people choose it, and what are the advantages and disadvantages of such dating.
What does an open relationship mean?
An open relationship is a type of romantic relationships when a couple wants to be together, but at the same time, agrees to a non-monogamous relationship. Thus, partners allow romantic, sexual, or other relationships with third parties. Each case of open relationships may differ from another since the specific conditions of such dating are determined by the partners individually (flirting, meetings, kissing, or sexual contact can be allowed). Most often, open relationships occur when people have a romantic or sexual relationship with more than one partner. Such relationships can be both short-term (for example, dating with other people) and long-term (an open marriage). Due to the fact that the open relationship has a fairly flexible structure, its conditions may vary. Thus, the agreements between partners can change frequently, and the circle of lovers may decrease or increase.
Why people choose open relationships
People appreciate independence most of all, but serious relationships often deprive them of such an opportunity. Everything starts with the word “have to.” To get rid of all the obligations that a person has to carry out in an ordinary relationship, some people resort to an easier type of dating – open relationships. It implies both psychological and financial side of the matter. In the usual way of life, a man has to provide for his wife and children and also remain faithful until the end of his days. If he still copes with the first one, then with the second – not always.
Also, young people, who have just created a family, suffer from excessive dependence on each other: they constantly suspect, check their partner, and fancy all kinds of things. They “suppress” the partner with their love, making excuses. “That’s how much I love you!” But in return, they get only irritation. This is how misunderstanding, hysteria, and resentment begin.
Having tasted the “pleasures” of family life, a man or a woman starts looking for another way not to be lonely. Many people wonder if it is worth trying an open relationship. This question comes to mind for a good reason. The possible triggers are:
- Bad experience, for example, a break-up with a former partner. Then a person needs to discharge of bad feelings, get rid of heartache, and calm down. It takes time. So he does not want either to start a serious relationship or be alone.
- The desire to fix a failing relationship. It is when a man and woman decide to free themselves from a stifling sense of obligation but do not refuse each other. They consider open relationships to be a great way to preserve romantic feelings.
- A fear or unpreparedness for a serious relationship. It applies to young guys and girls who have little experience or desire for starting serious relationships. In this case, the period of open relationships does not last long – the young couple wants to enjoy real family life sooner or later. And when they come to a reasonable understanding that it’s time to change something, they are able to determine what exactly family life means for them.
Open relationship rules
Open relationships arise by mutual agreement of both parties. They imply the existence of common interests, communication without reproach, and the absence of jealous scenes, all sorts of claims, and demands. And the main condition for open relationships is sex. A man and a woman take such a step because they do not want to suffer, get stressed out due to adultery, and depend on each other. The pleasure of being with each other, ease, and freedom from expectations – this is what open relationships mean. This is how it should be ideally. But what happens in practice? Sometimes people are bent on open relationships, but then it turns out that they still have some expectations from each other. For example, a girl wants a guy to be close at a difficult moment, and the guy wonders, “But we are not a family! I did not sign up for this!” Thus, there are misunderstandings that already resemble married life. Therefore, you should learn the 3 main rules of open relationships that will help you to make your love affair as strong and happy as possible:
- Respect for each other. It implies not only respect for the choice of life values and views of a loved one. The rule is that each of the partners should not have a bit on the side at the first opportunity. No, of course, it is permissible by mutual consent. Only by MUTUAL! All acceptable and undesirable nuances of your relationship should be discussed in advance. Also, you should consider whether each of you is ready for such a wild ride.
- You can enjoy the freedom and have affairs, but in certain life circumstances, a partner must come first. For example, if someone from a couple urgently needs help related to health or moral support, then another should to set all the lovers aside and come to the rescue.
- Ethical readiness for meetings with others. This is probably the most unpleasant rule, but one cannot do without it. Are you ready for the fact that sometimes your loved one will have sexual involvement with someone else? And how will you feel yourself after the intimacy with another person?
Advantages and disadvantages of an open relationship
Before talking about whether to start an open relationship, let’s find out what advantages and disadvantages this type of dating is fraught with.
- There are no obligations to each other
Many people consider the main advantage of open relationships is that it is not necessary to account to a partner where you are and what you are doing. The couple feels comfortable and not burdened with guilt. You can stop this relationship at any time you want without feeling slighted or abandoned. Maybe that’s why such a “love mode” is distinguished by perseverance and endurance.
- Revives romantic relationships
This type of dating can revive a romantic relationship, make it poignant, and even save it from total destruction. At a certain point, some couples come to the conclusion that physical betrayal is much more harmless than the collapse of long and serious relationships, built not only on sex but also on spiritual attraction. Open relationships give newness, adrenaline burst, and a sense of adventurism. A marriage based on such principles will never break up due to boredom, routine, and monotony.
- Releases from dependence on each other
Your dependence on a loved one interferes not only with him but also with you. Painful experiences, overthinking, and jealousy to illusory rivals make your life unbearable. In advanced cases, it can even resemble a kind of slavery. An open relationship frees you from dependence on a partner, and thus, makes your life easier. Moreover, there are a lot of online services that will help you to find a partner for a sexual relationship. One of the best dating sites is Godatenow.com since you can easily find a partner not only for physical intimacy but also for serious relationships.
There is a wonderful expression that the forbidden fruit is always sweet. When people lower inhibitions, they change themselves. It becomes uninteresting to do something to annoy a partner or try to paint the town red at every given opportunity. An open relationship is like breaking from restraining bonds, not only external but also internal. Perhaps, after the liberation from the prohibitions, a couple will lose the desire to have affairs. After all, it is not so forbidden to be so desired!
This is a major disadvantage for people with an exaggerated sense of ownership. Therefore, you should not start an open relationship if you are not ready to share your loved one with someone else. For those who are mentally prepared for this, infidelity will be a secondary phenomenon, perhaps just a bit unpleasant.
- Social stigmatization
Open relationships usually do not cause negative feedback from young people. But for moms, dads, and grandmothers, it is a great drama. Some of your inner circle may call you a frivolous person. But such a view is understandable as this is the usual reaction of people who have lived life within the framework of moral rules.
- Marriage and children are out of the question
Open relationships do not imply the birth of children, marriage, and serious relationships at all. An open relationship is a good option for people who have already tried family life and have children, but, for example, are divorced now.
- Hiding behind the freedom
Many people hide behind the freedom of open relationships in order to avoid responsibility. Therefore, it is very important to learn about the true motivations of a person before starting an open relationship with him.
- Short-term relationships
Sooner or later, one of the partners may want something more, while the other simply cannot give it or is not ready for a serious relationship. Consequently, relationships break-up.
- The risk of losing a loved one
If adultery occurs in a marriage, the husband or wife does not abandon the family, realizing that infidelity was just a temporary weakness. However, everything is different in an open relationship – a guy or girl can fall in love with another person and leave for good.
Is it worth trying an open relationship?
The advantages and disadvantages of an open relationship are relative concepts. It entirely depends on how a person perceives them. Some people can find shortcomings in the mentioned advantages, while others may find something positive in the imperfection of open relationships. The very first thing to do is to clarify what open relationships mean to you personally. If your mind is ready for something like this, that’s okay. However, you should remember that such relationships may seem ideal in the first stages, but later, no one is proof against quarreling and misunderstandings. Nobody knows how you will perceive the first betrayal of a person you love and whether you would like to have a bit on the side.
Also, you should beware of self-deception. It may turn out that you have kept back the truth from yourself that this type of relationship is not really your thing. So you can end up with nothing. Many women and men look for answers to the vexing question what they should do by checking different forums and talking to people who have experienced something similar. Remember! All the experiences and joys of open relationships that you may read on the Internet are SOMEONE ELSE’S experiences and joys. You will live through similar situations in a different manner.
There are cases when people realize that open relationships benefit only one of the partners. A woman often reaches a conclusion that she was created to take care of the family and give birth to a child. But despite the conversion, she continues to play the old game. It is not worth it. Share your thoughts and mind changes with your loved one. Perhaps he is ripe for something more too!
Having regard to the above, everyone should decide individually whether to start an open relationship or create a family. One thing is for certain: do not break yourself and reverse your principles and views for the sake of another person – no good could come of it.
Open relationships are good for those who are not ready for a serious relationship and marriage. However, even legal marriage does not give the right to complete control over a loved one. After all, there must always be certain freedom and the right to a private life (hen party, bachelor party, vacation, and just gatherings with friends). The main thing is to do everything within reason and in accordance with a loved one!