Breakups can cause a massive blow to anyone’s self-esteem, especially when you are the one who was left or, in colloquial terms, “got dumped.” In some cases, people often never almost recover immediately. It takes them years to get back on their feet and start feeling good about themselves again. However, you do not have to prove that time does heal everyone. You can do things to make yourself feel good—without self-destructing, that is.
How Do You Regain Your Self-confidence?
There is value in moving on, and you grow to be a better individual. But for some people, that might come after they’ve regained their self-confidence fully. Regaining your self-confidence after a breakup is tricky, as there are things that you will feel like doing only because you are vulnerable. These things are often a result of your defense mechanisms and are usually unhealthy tendencies that provide temporary comfort.
So what do you do about it? How can you be aware? And what can you do to feel better about yourself without these unhealthy tendencies?
You probably have ideas about how to deal with your heartbreak, but here are the most important things you need to keep in mind.
Keep Yourself Busy
Although this is one way of distracting yourself, finding ways to redirect your energy is a healthy way of coping instead. You can focus on your work, house, and even your errands. Keeping yourself busy with things that matter in your life is the best way to forget what went down. Sure, you can never shut everything out of your head, but imagine what you can accomplish in doing so.
Work on Improving Yourself
Following that note above, you can keep yourself busy by working on yourself. Being single also means you have all the time in the world for yourself, and there is no reason you cannot give yourself attention. After a breakup, it feels good to hit the gym, right? You might still feel a slight bitterness, and as long as you know how to act accordingly, the feeling is not all bad. It can even inspire you to get physically fit.
Additionally, don’t forget self-care and self-love are essential in your road to recovery. You can pamper yourself with skin treatment sessions and by spending money on shopping. These activities are therapeutic and bring back your self-confidence. After all, there is a saying that you will feel good when you look good.
Lastly, it is not all about physical appearances. You can also delve into self-improvement that does not have anything to do with your appearance. You can go to therapy, for example. It will be a great help, especially if you need to address and deal with unresolved trauma. It will also be a huge step toward healing after your breakup.
Surround Yourself with Friends and Family
Friends and family are loved ones for a reason, and it is because they provide you with a sense of acceptance and belonging no matter what happens. They are the people that you can lean on when you do not have anything but yourself and during the times when you are not yourself. Dealing with breakups alone can provide you with clarity over time, but there are crucial stages in life when you need your family and friends to be there for you. There will be pain and even a tinge of betrayal. These feelings can make you susceptible to regrettable actions as well. Hence, let your friends ground you and your family hold you. This way, you won’t have to go through all the stages of grief on your own.
Find New Hobbies
After a breakup, you might feel like everything you do reminds you of the person you lost. Often, that feeling is simply excruciating. No one will ever blame you for shutting down alone in your room. However, it is not the end for you. For example, suppose biking around the city was your thing together, and you cannot bring yourself to do that anymore. You need to remind yourself that it is okay. You cannot heal in the same place where you got broken.
If you want to get rid of your bike, do that. You can also choose to keep it until you find yourself okay to bike around alone. However, it is advisable to find new hobbies and discover new passion activities that you can enjoy on your own. Think of it as starting over again with a clean slate.
No breakup is ever easy. One way or another, it will land a blow to anyone’s confidence. But it is up to you how you regain it. Just do not forget that self-confidence and self-love come from within you and not from anyone else.