It seems that there is nothing better than being famous, appearing on the front page of the newspaper or the television screen. We feel for those who participate in competitions and artistic events the highest respect and admiration. We know very well that behind so many dreams, there is a huge desire to succeed. However, the social phenomenon around talent deserves some reflection.
Today everyone tries to get fame as soon as possible and last forever. However, seeing so many frustrated hopes, we wonder if popularity will reach everyone who wants it. Obviously not. The show is part of the ephemeral and, behind so many dreams; there are infinite failures and frustrations.
We are willing to share with you the keys to become a celebrity. These are nine steps that you must follow to achieve your goal (they are the same boy or girl). Are you ready? Well, go ahead.
- Become a twitter
Celebrities are always in fashion, and right now there is nothing more fashionable than Twitter, the microblogging service that allows you, in the form of messages of up to 140 characters, to tell the world how cool, calm and awesome you are. You will also need an associated account on Twitpic to instantly upload photos taken from your iPhone. No matter if they are Hollywood stars, NBA players, pornstars or simple lifers, everyone is on Twitter … and you must be there with them.
- Be extravagant
Ordinary people rarely become famous. You have to be extravagant, no matter if you are wearing weird, eating placenta or adopting a pig as a pet, you have to get out of the way, and you have to differentiate yourself from the flat town so that the flat town wants to be like you.
- Be ambiguous
Before the law of vague and thugs applied to you and they sent you to jail if you weren’t, but in the times that run, being straight is boring, it doesn’t sell. Now what it takes is bisexuality, to push the tooth to both meat and fish … or at least insinuate it. Mind you; we are not talking about you becoming a ridiculously androgynous being as the singer of Tokio Hotel but of being ambiguous about your sexuality for the rest of the planet, that everyone, both the truck driver and the housewife, dreams that they have possibilities with you.
- Fight with paparazzi
You love fame, and you want madly that paparazzi follow you everywhere, but ordinary people do not like attention whores, so you have to be offended and Fight with them either with punches, with umbrellas or spit. Then, when they stop recording or taking photos, you invite them to some reeds … and they pay for them because a celebrity never pays. Never forget it!
- Get a police file
Good guys and saints don’t sell; it’s a scientific fact proven by a study from the University of Toronto. You have to be bad and nothing better to prove that a police file with the two typical front and profile photos … and that card mysteriously reaches the media. From Isabel Pantoja to Britney Spears, they had resorted to this reliable method when their popularity was not at the top, and if they have done it, you should not be less.
- Always give your opinion
It does not matter if it is about the abortion law, if you see an open microphone you must give your opinion and the more incendiary and less informed it is, the better. Also, if they ask you again about the subject, contradict yourself so that you will get asked again. It is what is called a whiting that bites its famous tail or circle. It does not usually fail.
- Get married and divorce … several times
Some pieces sell more than a wedding and among them is a divorce. So you know, to get married and get married the more times, the better, as if trying to beat Elizabeth Taylor’s record, and charge exclusively for a tube. If you do not skip that your spouse has to be more prominent than you. Moreover, if you are not very formal, joining and disjointing is also valid although a little less lucrative, so you will have to do it more times.
- Make an amateur porn video
None of the strategies of yours are working to be famous? Your ephemeral fame has evaporated which drug at the door of Amy Winehouse’s house? You can always resort to recording the guards you make with your partner and that the tape arrives mysteriously at the hands of XXXBios. Of course, keep holding the suspense as if it were a blockbuster in Hollywood: first some photos, then a teaser trailer, then a complaint in court, a few cries for the sets and finally the whole tape.
- Give your children weird names
The children of ordinary people and the children of celebrities differ in only one thing: the name. If you are famous, you cannot put your daughter Maria because she will not buy the exclusive or Pronto. You need a name with a hook: a fruit (Apple), a city (Paris, Brooklyn), a superhero (Kalel), with Cyrillic characters … Yes, yes The name is composed cannot exceed a length of three words because from there they are monarchical names and that is no longer cool, that the transfusions of blue blood are very expensive.