Breakups are painful. Some more than others, but everyone feels the loss of the future they dreamed of with another person. Everyone has their own way of dealing with a broken heart, but some universal remedies can turn your breakup into a breakthrough.
Give yourself time to accept your feelings
Don’t sweep anything under the rug. You are in grief and give yourself time to acknowledge that and accept it. Avoiding your pain won’t make it disappear and bring you relief. Quite the opposite — it will hit you hard when you least expect it and break you all over again.
It’s okay if you miss your ex. It’s okay if you still love them. It’s okay if you feel sad. And it’s okay if you don’t want to be with them now or in the future. When we accept what we feel, like the pain from the breakup, then that feeling’s power over us diminishes and gives us clarity that we can feel better. It may not happen at that very moment, but it will come and you will embrace it.
Focus on yourself
Self-reflection and self-care should go hand in hand after the breakup. By reflecting on the relationship that ended, you may find out things you didn’t see before the breakup. For example, whether your partner was toxic, did you lose your identity, or did you sacrifice your dreams to be with your ex.
A breakup will leave you hanging on the good times and prolong the heartbreak, so trying to be realistic can bring you to the right conclusion faster. At the same time, try practicing self-care, like going to the therapist, or spa, eating properly, having fun, and doing things that make you feel good about yourself.
Find a hobby or hit the gym
Learning something new is always good to get your mind from obsessing over things. After a break up you may be in a thought loop where you think about how to repair the damage and get back with your ex. A hobby can give your mind something else to think about and help you to stay on track with healing and self-care.
Another option is exercising at the gym or joining a yoga, spin cycle, or cross fit classes. When you are physically active, the stress hormone levels in your body drop and feel-good hormones take over. Because of this, you will notice after only one physical activity that you’re smiling, feeling energized, and better about yourself.
Go on a trip by yourself
Just like in the book and movie Eat Pray Love with Julia Roberts you can go on a journey of self-discovery by traveling. A change of scenery is a good idea to recharge and start your healing process. Traveling can help you distance yourself from a given situation and focus on what you need to regain faith in yourself. Different cultures, customs, and traditions can show you how to deal with pain and guilt other than what you were taught.
However, under no circumstance should you start a new relationship, rather try something that is less emotionally demanding. For example, if you go to Australia you can visit Melbourne brothels and have a fleeting encounter. Sex is after all a good source of feel-good hormones, like serotonin, endorphins, oxytocin, testosterone, and estrogen. Alternatively, you can use Tinder anywhere in the world or any other dating app that will end with a casual hookup.
Take a break from social media
Social media is already responsible for depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, and other negative emotions, so it’s the last thing you need after a breakup. Instead of spying on your ex or posting sad content, take a break from social media and turn to the real world for comfort and happiness.
Have drinks with your friends, go to the movies, walk in the park, and distance yourself from everything that will put you down. Even if you are aware that a lot of posts on social media are not the whole story of people’s lives, your brain will still have you believe you are the only one missing out on those things. But because of grief, you can’t stop comparing your loss to other people’s gains.
Turning your breakup into a breakthrough will take work and willpower, but you got this! Not only will you find new things about yourself, but you will start a new chapter in the book that is your life.