Nowadays, especially after the twenties, it is almost impossible to be the first person in someone else’s life so it is quite natural there was someone before you. However, some people can’t accept the fact that they are not the first ones in their partner’s lives though they dated others, too.
Realizing that it is normal and that your boyfriend has had other experiences is not that easy. Some people feel insecure and become jealous of their boyfriends’ exes.
Jealousy is an ordinary thing in any relationship. They say if there is love, there is at least a little portion of jealousy. But in some cases, it is not just a regular one but an advanced and even more obsessive version. People become attached to their partners’ pasts and make both their and their partners’ lives hell. This is what retroactive jealousy is: being obsessed with your partner’s past.
If you usually find yourself thinking about your boyfriend’s past, his exes, and become nervous about them, then most probably you are suffering from retroactive jealousy.
The first towards overcoming the condition is by identifying it and taking certain actions. So how to get over your boyfriend’s ex-girlfriends and start living a normal life without unwanted thoughts about the past? Well, there are a lot of tips to follow on the internet, but of course, the most efficient way is to seek help from professionals like Zachary Stockill. The best-selling book and specially curated course on how to overcome retroactive jealousy are based on hands-on experience.
Tips to stop thinking about your partner’s ex-girlfriends
Now that you are more assured about your condition, it is time to take action to prevent it and get back to your normal life. We have prepared a few 100% working tips to avoid unwanted thoughts and mini-movies in your head. So let’s get started.
Stop comparing yourself with his exes
Comparing yourself with your boyfriend’s ex-girlfriends is not the best idea. You should understand that people are different and everyone is an individual first of all, you should be yourself not pretend to be someone else. Besides, your partner ended his relationships with those girls and did that for a reason. So start being yourself, otherwise, you will end like the previous ones.
What men like in women is self-confidence and I am not talking about being selfish, etc. it is about your self-esteem and inner peace with yourself. A self-confident person would never compare themselves with others. A great way to boost self-confidence is to travel, do physical exercises, build a successful career, etc.
Stop talking about the past
We understand that you are curious to learn more about your boyfriend’s ex, but trust me this way you only deteriorate your condition. Set certain rules of not talking about the past or at least not going into the details. It is important to know who is the initiator of such conversations. If you are the one who always starts to talk about the past, then you should stop hurting yourself and find other mutually interesting topics to talk about.
Understand whether the exes are a real threat or just your imagination
The next you should do is to identify whether or not your jealousy is justified. Does he keep on talking to her or he compares you with her, etc? If you see such obvious actions from him, then your jealousy is justified. Otherwise, it is just an imaginary problem that you shouldn’t stick to.
Stop stalking social media accounts
Whether you like it or not, you should stop checking on your boyfriend’s social media accounts. Remember about privacy and personal space. Respect his life, it is difficult to resist the temptation not to learn who he talks to, likes, etc. But stalking his social life will never have good consequences first of all for you. You will look like a total paranoiac and might lose your partner’s trust in you. If you have any kind of uncertainty, you’d better talk to him.
Be honest, share your thoughts, try to build a relationship in trust and you sill see that everything is simpler than it seems Everything is in your hands, start acting like a real pro and get over your partner’s past.